Reflection

Reflection,, or probably reflecting.. its something i do from time to time, maybe its a good thing to reflect on things past, somethings are good some not so good.. but since i found myself a single mum at the beginning of last year its something i have done a far bit, not weekly or monthly but at times when i am on my own, which to be fair is not that often.. but i think it is helping me quite alot…  

Yes sometimes i get upset at the fact my relationship did not last, but we gave it our best shot, over 20 years, we never married but may in hindsight that is a good thing as No Divorce to go through.. the things i think are more of trying to work out where it went wrong, but there are lots of little tiny things over the years but nothing a great deal but we mainly grew apart, there is nothing i could have done to prevent that, i was always trying to change to make sure everything was good, but deep down the more i reflect i think the less we had in common.. in the early days there were lots, but as we grew older we stopped doing the things we had in common and we ended up doing our own things in the end,, me with the children mostly, working, various clubs with the oldest,.. and he worked,, but it doesn’t really matter to be honest.. because it was a relationship that was going to fail from the beginning as the other party never really wanted the relationship side of things, but more of a mother/sister figure which was fine until the children came along then i think it all fell apart, especially when you have one with a disability, stresses change and the whole relationship changed… if we hadn’t had parted now it may have happened when kids grew older only cause it is probably the kids we had in common which is really sad… 

I feel much happier in the fact that i can now move on with a new life or well a different life, my life for me and my kids, doing the things that make me happy and by boys and not me making everyone happy except the person that counts,.,.Me.. 

Me is Happy, Me Is Moving on in concentrating on me right now,, getting fitter for my health and loosing some weight for my own medical reasons, and so far things are going well.. there are times when i think why me, why us, but i am not alone in the world of singledom.. and i won’t be the last either,, but i will carry one with the reflecting but not in a bad nasty fed up way but in a good way…thinking ahead to the good times too that may be laying round the next corner..I of course have no idea as to what that may be but i know it will be good.. Image

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