Self Compassion

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Earlier in the week i had a bit of a break down, nothing too bad but enough for me to phone my therapist that i had for my cognitive Behavioural Therapy.. its been 12 months since i last spoke with her so i know i am doing very well and coping with the problems that arose well for what i needed the therapy for in the first place.. Panic attacks, those don’t really happen now, and that’s cause I am single and no longer with the person who was  part of the problem in causing them..  

Last years conversation with the therapist was to tell her i was now single ect and that i had moved, nothing more than that really,,  

well Last week i had a letter from one of my benefit people and it started,  it was a letter saying one of the benefits was going down as i earn’t £3 over the allowed Bracket,  but its what they do, nothing wrong with it, but what made me upset was the fact i have to claim in the first place..  I am embarrassed and ashamed that i have had to but I have no choice.. 

I have a young son and a son who is on disability but I always have the thinking that i should do better, could to better to provide for my boys and get of benefits, but the reality is very different.. There is no way i can get of the benefits.. 

But I know i am doing my best and i should be proud of myself, but i keep knocking myself down,, 

what i will say is No More, from this moment i will try to stop being hard on myself and be kind to me as i am to many many others,, I know i am not perfect, no one is, and I do my best in everything that i do, ,

Ok i am repeating myself a little, but blogging about if often helps to to feel better as well.. My Therapist sent me some information in the post that i need to print of and work my way through,,  

I do appreciate all of you who stop by and read, it means a lot to me.