Happy Easter


As everyone is aware it is Easter Weekend here in the UK possibly the world there are are Christian who celebrate… 

I am a person who does not follow religion at all they are my views and no real need to upset you all with that,,  But i do however like to think that the Easter Bunny Is Real..  I do love Chocolate Eggs so somewhere there is a giant since Hen laying Chocolate eggs,  (ok i do infact know its a chocolate factory) but one can dream,, 

I do wish you a happy Easter Hope you get lots of nice eggs, but please check that these don’t hatch out of your eggs


What a Week

As you may have read on a  previous Blog I suffer with IBS-D for past 6 years or longer and PCOS for the past 13 years, well diagnosed but had it since Puberty,,  Anyway I had to have a routine medicine appointment at the Drs surgery on Tuesday last week just to make sure i am on the right meds for my conditions….

My Normal Dr is off on long term illness so i had to see one of the others, this is not a problem to me as they are all great at my practice but their treatments are all different for the same conditions.. This time my Dr blew me away… He has stopped my anti sugar tablets that i have been on for the past 13 years well on and off as they stop them now and again but now i have had a Hysterectomy some say i need them some say i don’t as they are normally given to people who are trying to conceive as it can help overweight women to loose weight..  

I was also on a drink to help me go to the loo (IBS-D)  but this was hit and miss as one dr would say take every day and another would say take only when you feel pain, so as i don’t get much pain i was not taking the drink.. 

Tuesday became a new day to the rest of my life I think… like i said the anti-sugar tablets known as metformin and my drink meds Fybogel with mebeverine has been stopped and changed to the normal Fybogel that i must take 2 times a day (breakfast and dinner) after the meals… 

But the biggest change is 

Image   Yep No Gluten Diet,  Yep panic kinda set in as i do like bread, cereals and chocolate. But i better do it,  i am not a coeliac but the Dr feels that i may be intollerant to the the Gluten and its not helping my guts or bowels..  i did find this on a web site so please do take a read   http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7482/10-signs-youre-gluten-intolerant.html  

So far things have been ok with no gluten but the biggest thing is that Gluten Free Products have double the sugar and more calories than normal foods, and more expensive too, but i have to do it and so far i my tummy has less bloating and i seem to have more energy about me, then again i have not had any cravings for anything that i should not be having.. watch this space…..

E-Petition for UK readers only

To Allow Doctors Dispensaries to dispense to patients who live within 1.6km of their nearest pharmacy.

Responsible department: Department of Health


The NHS (Pharmaceutical Services) Regulations 2005 & 2012, forbid a doctor’s dispensary, in a controlled locality, from dispensing medication to patients when they live within 1.6km, as the crow flies, of their nearest pharmacy.This archaic rule dates back over 100 years as it was originally feared that doctors/patients might collude in order to obtain inappropriate medicines. Today it forces patients to use a pharmacy if they live within 1.6km of one rather than collect their medication from their doctor’s dispensary as they walk out of the door after a consultation. Recent auditing by Primary Care Trusts has led to a tightening of the rule resulting in many patients being informed that their doctor’s dispensaries can no longer provide their medicines. 
The effect is to replace a fast effective and efficient service with a slower and less efficient one. We request the government amend the Regulations to bring the law into line with the wants and needs of patients of the 21st century.

 Please can you sign the epetition and re-Blog but it is for UK Residence only please.. please click on the link below, also Facebook and Twitter the Link please



 This was sent to me from my own Drs 


For some 18 years old marks a time of celebration, here in the UK its being able to drink, being classed an Adult  but this 18 years on it not about a Birthday but it is about my Son Charlie and he blogs too, you can see there here on Charlies Photos and Me please take a visit,  his new to it and very good, but this is not about his blog either..

18 years ago to this date 24th March my son well (mine and my ex’s) underwent major open heart surgery and one of Londons top Childrens Hospitals called Great Ormond Street Childrens Hospital which i will refer to as GOSH.. 

Charlie and me were already at the hospital, had been since 3.5 weeks old and where we were given the diagnosis of Transposition of the Great Arteries with Ventricle Septal Defect (TGA & VSD you can see more about the condition on one of my pages. please click on the link https://mumandcarer.wordpress.com/congenital-heart-defect/  it saves time on re writing it out all again.. 

At birth we didn’t know anything was wrong at all but as the days went by and things started to go downhill and little signs started to show according to my health Visitor things were not as they should be.. A baby not gaining weight or gain then loose then gain and loose they classed it static weight gain,  well after the dr sent us to the local and the Local sent us to GOSH we were then sent for scans, ex-rays blood tests for blood match.. my baby was diagnosed with a congenital Heart Defect and would need minor surgery today, followed by open heart surgery (which is his anniversary today).. 

We were thrown in the the world of CHD something i had never even heard of until that day..  on the 7th March the day of diagnosis he underwent a small non invasive op.. from that moment i felt my baby had been taken away from me and was being looked after by the nurses and medical world,  I had only had him in my life for 9 months in my tummy and 3 weeks outside in the real world..  the small op was called a balloon septostomy  see the link as to whats involved..  Me however was by now on a cloud looking down below., I felt i was on my own despite being in a hospital on a ward with other heart children and parents,  the little op went well but it was just the beginning of a emotional world.. I got to know one of the mums on the High Dependency Unit who we still stay in contact (well we did till last year when they moved)..

We were sent back to the local hospital to be shown how to tube feed my baby so he could gain weight before the big op.. which was going to be a little earlier than 24 th March but he got sick,  he got rotavirus at the local hospital although we were told at the time that his bowels had gone inside out, ,that was not true by the way, but we were Ambulanced back down to GOSH and partly blue lighted due to traffic..  

Once Back at GOSH tests were done and Rotavirus confirmed so he was only allowed saline an no milk,,  i could do nothing,  so the drs sent me home on orders to Rest and Refresh before op,  although i only managed 24 hours away due to a nasty comment from a old relative of the Ex’s.. 

The Op day arrived.. my sons Father was with me and it was a awful day,, although i never thought for a moment we would loose him,, never occurred to me and 8 hours later All had been a success..  


We were shown to the CICU (cardiac Intensive Care Unit ) to where Charlie was.. although there was a slight delay as a poor 8 year old had died, and suddenly your back in a very horried world of what can happen.. luckily for us Charlie had done well and was in CICU you for 48 hours (we were told to expect 10 days in there ) he was then monitored on HDU for less than 24 hours before going on the ward to improve before being allowed home and this happened on the 1st April so in less that 10 days of Open Heart Surgery we/I was on my own.. the Dad just carried on working but had  his own emotions to deal with and to this day he wont speak about it.. 

Mean while I had this tiny little baby with a chest scar to look after,  he has supplements in his milk to help him grow, which then was added to his solids.. he did grow but very slowly but once he turned 8 he was already half way through puberty,  very early for a boy and this was medically halted for 18 months also,, (he did have a op on his willy but as his reading this wont write too much. he had a condition called hypospadius which needed a op at age 3) 

As Charlie grew he was a lovely little kind caring laid back lad and still his as a 18 year old.. 

when Charlie was 18 months old and at GOSH for one of his many check-ups i found a card for a charity called Heartline. It was like a breath of fresh air making contact and realising  you are not alone and there are other parents out there who have children with Heart Defects.. At first the Support was all on the Phone but it was great so speak to somebody who understood, then it became online, in time as i accepted things i became a support work helping others,  but now a days its nearly all online and I am still there but in a much lower profile as my child is much older and no longer a baby and procedures differ as time moves on, but non the less i am still there offering what support i can give, ,so please do take a visit  http://www.heartline.org.uk/..

We have school to deal with which was not easy to start with as this was a time when we realised the enormity of what had happened pre diagnosis and charlie had suffered some oxygen loss and this resulted in mild learning needs,  the list of where he struggles is long but with the right help being in place he has got through Lower, middle and upper mainstream schools and now at college.. 

Over the years he has done power kiting, sailing and rowing




He has passed 9 GSCE’s at foundation level with a reader and writer, he is a qualified sailor plus as you can see he rowed for 12 months until College and fainting and now High Bp has stopped that now, he did a level 2 agriculture cause and Passed and is now doing a carpentry course.. 

One thing my son has taught me is Never take anything for granted, any decisions you make for them should be for them and not for you..  and despite a persons disability never say they wont be able to this that and the other.. Everyone will find a way in life, they will learn to know what they are good and and will excel in life,  

There is no point in worrying about the WHY’s did this happen cause unless there is a Gene or hereditary link you will not find any answers..

The one Person I always thank is Charlie’s Heart Surgeon,  Marc De Leval  


I Thank you Marc for saving sons life..  many times over





To All who read my blog,  I  know i have received several awards to which i am grateful but they take up hugs amounts of blogging time and and fill up my blog,.  now i don’t mind being sent them at all and will gladly show and thank those who send me them,  but i can’t carry on with doing all the lists and links,.  Mainly as i am a single mum i don’t get masses of time to sit and do them,  but what i will do is do a Page for my awards so you can all see what i have received and will keep adding them on to there instead ..  Thanks and Sorry 




As the Title says I am Tired, Shattered, exhausted..  its been like this on and off for a while now..  but not sure why,  yep i am a single mum who gets stressed with the day to day life of balancing things , like any parents do..  yes i have my little job, so its not over work that’s tiring me out..  But there are a couple of things it could be,  the first one is low iron,  or low iron body stores as the diets here are not too green and full of Iron, I have a far bit of veg, but i have 2 children who wont eat it and its wasting money as i can’t eat a whole cabbage ect.. or it goes off before i can use it all..


But back in the Beginning of 2011 i and a Hysterectomy (ovaries left in) so it could be onset of menopause and considering my family history most of the females had early onset menopause or hysterectomies it could be that… the only real way of knowing is a blood test,  but its not just tiredness,,  I am now having trouble sleeping but also over tired that i could drop of any moment even now i could sleep, eyes are sore and running too.. yes struggle to get off to sleep, but once asleep i could stay asleep for hours and find it hard to get up at the call of the Alarm.. 

Another thing is my memory is bag, getting forgetfull or even not hearing conversations as brain has switched off..

I do have a visit to the the Dr on Monday next week so i will see what he says and get a test done, I know IBS-C does not help neither does my PCOS but we are dealing with those.. so fingers crossed it’s something and nothing.. 

Anyway thanks for reading but that’s how i feel today..  

The Dragons Loyalty Award


I received this award from my good friend Shaun over at http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/   his a good man and writes a lot of sense, does Audio blogs too so go on, go and take a look, 

Like many of these awards there are Rules that come with them 


1. Post these rules.

2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.

3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.

4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.

5. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they have been tagged.


For some reason i have to post a Photo of me, oh my word 


By the way I am the one on the left and not the hairy one.. lol 

as for the 11 random facts about me

1: I am 5ft 4in so short and dumpy

2: I am Daft 

3: I am a blonde naturally

4: I give myself a Hard time alot 

5: I was a volunteer for a Heart Group supporting Parents

6: I work in a lower school as a dinner lady 

7: I love Music from the 70’s and 80’s

8: I love to do Cross-stitch Tapestry’s

9: I Used to go Horse Riding as a Child

10: I love Steam Engine

11: I always put my children before me

Here are the Questions I must Answer


1.Where were you born?  Bedford UK 

2. What is your favourite movie?  Ice Age 1, 2 and 3  if you can count cartoons 

3. If you could go back in time, where would you go? 1975 when all grandparents were still alive

4. What do you like to eat? Cheese

5. Where on Earth do you dislike? Can’t really say as not visit many places

6. Best song you like? Spirit in the Sky by Norman Greenbaum 

7. What is the longest you have  walked or traveled.Traveled to Barbados when i was 17

8. Do you have a PC/Laptop/Netpad or Phone for your internet use? PC, Phone and Ipod

9. Who was your favourite Aunt or Uncle as a child.That would be unfair to say as they are all fab

10. Do you like sport, if so, what type?  the Sports i do enjoy watching are wrestling  but love taking part in is Boxing but so not done it for a long time

11. Where would rather be?   Home with my Children, well i am home but they are at school and college

So now i need to ask 11 questions for the bloggers i nominate to Answer

1:  Do you Drive

2: Whats your favourite Colour

3: What year where you born in ?

4: What Country do you Come From? 

5: Do you believe in Ghosts?

6: Do you Work?

7: What’s your favourite time of the Year?

8: What’s your favourite Tipple

9: Can you speak a 2nd Language?

10: Where can you see yourself in 3 years time

11: What Type of Car to you have? as in Make and Transmission (Manual or Auto) 


Now for the tricky bit nominating 15 other bloggers is very hard to do.. but i will try 

1)   http://rafairman.wordpress.com/ 

2)  http://myspokenheart.wordpress.com/

3)  http://morningstoryanddilbert.wordpress.com/

4)  http://bobzeller.wordpress.com/

5)  http://s-vernon.co.uk/

I am going to leave it at 5 for now I may add some more on laters 




2nd, 3rd and 4th Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Over the weekend i received 3 nominations for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award, which came from 






Which i would like to say thank you very much,  and i am very humbled that you feel my blog is inspiring.. I am still very new to this myself and half my blogs are me rambling on,  but please go visit the blogs above they are great reads.. 

With this award there are Rules and these are they: 

A. Display the award logo on your blog.
B. Link back to the person who nominated you.
C. State 7 things about yourself.
D. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
E. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.


7 things about me are sometimes quite hard to write cause i don’t even know me yet anyway will give it ago and hope i have not repeated myself again.. 


1: I love seeing Birds in my garden as i feed them

2: I Can play the Piano, although re starting up after a 9 year break

3: I met my first boyfriend age 15 and Broke up age 41

4: Not very good at Housework as there is always better things to do

5: I drive a Blue Renault Clio 04 Plate

6: I love Italian Food

7: Drink way too much Zero Coke

Now here comes the Hard bit,  Yes i am new to this and yes i do have some followers and some i follow but some i have not managed to read yet but I will do my Best in tagging everyone..  

1: http://littlesundog.wordpress.com/

2: http://fromthefog.me/

3: http://jimages.wordpress.com/

4: http://ofmindormatter.com/

5: http://shareenayoub.wordpress.com/

6: http://mselenalevontraveling.com/

7: http://watchfulsavvy.wordpress.com/

8: http://theevolutionofeloquence.wordpress.com/

9: http://mesayah.wordpress.com/

10: http://trainertrishwamsat.wordpress.com/

Now that’s about as many i can do, but over time there will be more..  so go take a look at these bloggers and see for yourself what they are like 

That’s it from me appart from telling all those i have nominated them 

Ghosts or Psychic


I know this is a pretty odd subject, but it has been bought to my attention some years ago that i have something special, or a understanding of something out of this world..  I have always been a kind caring person, nothing more nothing less just me, but i kinda have a psychic side to me or other not sure what, but i hope someone who reads this post can help me further..

Now in the past i had 4 grand-parents and a great grand-parent,  these were  my dads parents and my mums parents as well as my mums grandma.. over my childhood 4 died my dads mum died when i was 8 , my dads dad died when i was 10, my mums gt grandma when i was 13 and my mums dad when i was 17,  my mums mum died only 2 years ago in my adult hood she died 3 months before my 40th birthday

.. they had names,  Grandad for sidney,  grandma for Alice, Minnie, Poppa for Harold and Nannie Eileen. and they died at different ages, Grandad 79, grandma 73,  Minnie 95, Poppa 76 and Nannie was 96… i also lost a Uncle as well but he was married to my mums sister so not blood related.. Not that the Names or ages have anything to do with what i am going to say..

Yes i was sad when they died but i was not traumatised, i saw all of them get old and be ill,, but i felt calm,  BUT  out of all these people i had or still have a connection with my dads dad or Grandad as i called him..

Rolling on a few years and my grandad has been dead some 15 years i had a visit from him, i was not scared but intreagued .. Now I was in a local hospital to where i was living as my son Charlie was in Hospital at 3 weeks of age, very poorly and diagnosed with some heart defect, and until we went to a Bigger childrens hospital for tests the Drs where trying to tell me what was wrong or what they suspected was wrong..

To this day i don’t know what was going on in the room, but i remember i had a bed for me and my son was in the hospital cot, the peadiatrictian was talking to me, and my mum and dad were also in the room, from what i can remember the room went dark or Dull , and is was mid-day the peadiatrician was trying to tell me something by my eyes and ears where elsewhere, direct in front of me was my father i knew this but all i could see was my grandads face, not body just his head..  and all i heard was my grandad telling me “All would be ok, he was watching over us” then he went..

Then i heard the Pead again mentioning a visit to GOSH and what he has was not life threatening (they got that wrong)..

I said to my sons dad what i say and he said it must have been my dad talking and i must have been tired and a long few days before..

I do question myself lots,, but deep down i know it’s him watching us, I have his photo here and a item of his furniture as does my dad.. but i get a kind of peace from it..

a few years ago about 4 and had a small angle card reading done and she as amazing, spot on with my life what i did ect but then i shocked her when my last card i chose was a called Archangel Michael or a light worker.. she said i was sent from heaven to help others.. and i should work on it..  That night i went home mesmersized by what she told me, i  felt drained so went to bed.. I had this visual disturbance lots of swirly colours flashes of light all mixing in my head,.  it was very pretty but i just put it down to tiredness..




Last year i had a photo reading done by a friend over the internet which seem to say the same thing about me but also that i had a guardian angel looking over me and my children, so i sent a photo of my deceased relatives and it was my grandad..

I get visual disturbance out of my right eye, can be when watching  the telly, at the PC or even driving,, i don’t know if its anything or anyone but i rub my eyes in case it’s my eyes, and i wave my had between my eye and the vision,  its bright colours that shimmer but even when i wave the vision is the other side of my hand so i guess it not my eye..

It’s been suggested to meditate first or find a course, and yes i feel silly but i feel it is something or someone trying to tell me something.

visions is not the 0nly thing,  I find Church’s very odd, from a afar they are very photogenic, but in the church very unnatural.. I feel cold and not able to relax.. and the church yard is awash with the odd feeling i am being grabbed at or something.. so i tend not to go,, I am not a believer in Religion or a follower of God but i believe in something, may be my guardian Angel..

If someone can give me some advice to help, is it something or am i going nuts,,

Thanks for reading