I was reading a fellow bloggers http://prayingforoneday.wordpress.com/2013/02/03/defining-a-moment-of-individual-kindness earlier today,, and felt i should write my own,,
I have been a mum for the past 17 nearly 18 years but and a carer ever since really but only officially for the past 5 years..
My Son was born supposedly a healthy baby boy, but this turned some weeks later into a life threatening congenital heart condition, now my son ended up having open heart sugery some weeks later to save his life, without he would not be here pure and simple.. so my son became a member of the zipper club as a tiny baby and yes done well heart wise for some years, he has his problems hence the fact he has DLA and me Carers now i am not in full time work, infact in you work full time you’re still a carer but don’t paid… Anyway for many many years as a mum to a child who has gone through 8 hours of surgery, and has a visual scar that is hidden to the world unless at a swimming pool ect. NO on see’s it… well roll back a few years and something happened to a family member,, another birth defect but a visual one on the outside but not life threatening although if left then some nasty things could have happened but to this day no surgery has had to take place.. I said something very evil i suppose and said however upsetting its nothing compared to what my son went through. Oh did i get slated, you have no idea of what its like, you have no visual to show,, at this point i did wonder what the 5 inch scar was that i saw every day, i am sure it was to remind me of something,, well the said child was given treatment for defect and all is ok now,
On the other hand,. my son still has his scar and needs but to others cause on the outside he looks healthy and normal i do get lots of comments like how come you get DLA he looks fine, or you say stuff like he had heart surgery as a baby,,, you get but his ok now right, he looks ok,,
Just in case you hadn’t realised the heart is on the inside of the body , learning needs are on the inside on the body, memory delay is on the inside of the body.. NO ONE but yourself as a parent and a patient plus medical professions know that its there because its Hidden you can’t see it there is no visual…
I am naturally a kind caring person, and worked in a shop when younger and i came across loads of people with disabilities mostly visual like you do, blindness, deafness, physical disability and they were all people with feelings, but i never considered the hidden disability until i had my own child with his own hidden disability.
I see people differently now, i never judge anyone, because you just don’t know what they are going through in their own lives.
Apart from my son who has chd and learning needs, i know 2 people now with chronic pain, several people with depression the odd anxious person who has panic attacks ( i have had them ) they are all hidden, aspergers/autism ,
I ask you never you just to think for a moment before you open your mouth as you may as well be hurting someones feeling who does not know how to deal with them due to there hidden disability,, and treat those who do have a visual disability with the utmostof respect and never be little them, if there adult talk to them like one, if there a child speak to them like a child..